Book Review - The Mammoth Book Of Terror

The Mammoth Book Of Terror

Various Authors

1992

This is an above average collection of horror stories set to turn your veins to ice with terror.  Not only are there short stories but there are a few longer works and a couple of short novellas - from the cream-of-the-crop of horror writers.  There are a few stories that are worth the price of the book themselves.

I give this book a chillingly cold 7 out of 10.

The Stories:

The Last Illusion

8 out of 10

This is one really good story of magicians and the dark realms which surround them.  This story stars Harry D'Amour, Barker's PI who has the unfortunate luck to be hired in occult cases.  This tale is very reminiscent of The Books Of Blood stories, so if you enjoy dark and graphic horror with high tension and thrills then you'll love this story.

Bunny Didn't Tell Us

6 out of 10 

Gangsters and hitmen are not your average fayre for horror stories so this little tale is a nice change.  Schow, who has been acclaimed to have created the Splatter Punk sub-genre, does a good job of interweaving dark humour.  However, be aware that there really isn't much splatter in this story.  That doesn't really detract from it's telling or your enjoyment of it.  In the blurb before the story, we're informed that Schow wrote the story as a homage to EC Comics.  I must confess that, at times, I could actually see the artwork and the frames in the comics pages.

Murgunstrumm

8 out of 10

I had never heard of Hugh B Cave before reading this novella and I am ashamed of that.  I thought I was up on my horror and dark fiction writers but sadly I have missed Cave.  This is a brilliant tale of love and insanity.  I have never been one for the Gothic as I find it a little too romantically inclined with not enough weird.  However, they way Cave attacks and structures this story and his skill at painting visions in my mind hooked me in right from the start and had me read the story in one sitting.  I now have a desire to hunt out more of Cave's work...  I believe it will be well worth it.

The Late Shift

5 out of 10

If you thought that death was the end of your boring work routine then Etchison has you thinking again with this dark little tale, as he asks the question of what happens between the time you die and the moment you are laid to rest?  This for me isn't the strongest story in the collection as I'm not too keen on Etchison's style (but that's just me) and the story concept for me was a little weak... and there's not a lot of terror in the piece. 

The Horse Lord

6 out of 10

I do like Lisa Tuttle and this short story about a malignant spirit is no exception.  Though the story is dark and does worm it's way under your skin it's the build to the climax that lets the story down as it feels rushed when compared to the rest of the tale.  For me a slow burn and creepy atmosphere would have been better and kept in style with the story; though it is still worth a read or two.

The Jumpity Jim

5 out of 10

This is the type of Gothic horror that I'm not too keen on.  There's love, romance, and lots of hints at strange things.  Then when the horror finally shows itself... well it just wasn't that horrific - especially when Hayes was building it up to be one of the worst entities ever born.  Hayes does a good job with the writing and the pace flows well enough to keep the reader going, it's just a shame that he goes for a standard ending.

Out Of Copyright

7 out of 10

Campbell, for me, is one of the great horror and dark fantasy writers of our time.  I really did love this little revenge tale of an unscrupulous editor who uses out of copyright stories for his anthologies so he doesn't have to pay the writer - and it also gives him the privilege of altering the narrative to suit his needs.  The twist is nice and well thought out.

The River Of Nights Dreaming

8 out of 10

This is a strange little nightmare of a story depicting the fall of a female prisoner into the abyss after an accident allows her to escape.  If you like strange and weird, peppered with a little sex, then this could be your cup of tea.  There is one brilliantly written sequence where her mind starts to crack and realities and dreams merge, mix, and rip apart.  I have never read anything so convincing; a brilliant job by Wagner and makes the story worth the read it itself.

Amber Print

7 out of 10

This story of movie collectors spoke to my heart.  I love film and I love the film this tale is based around - The Cabinet Of Dr Calgari.  Copper magnificently weaves his dark tale around the film and gives the reader a new insight that will chill the bones.  If you, like myself, have a good imagination then this will have you thinking of movies in a different way...

The House Of The Temple

7 out of 10

Being a fan of Lovecraft's it's always nice to read other author's stories based upon his mythos.  Lumley does a great job creating a dark and oppressive atmosphere in which to set his tale.  I have to admit that I also like his "Monster" as it's not one of the Old Gods, which is a nice twist in itself.  Well worth a read, even if you're not a fan of Cthulhu.

The Yougoslaves

9 out of 10

This is one well thought out and structured short story and easily shows why Bloch is a master of his craft.  It also has some of the most believable characters, situations, and outcomes, in the compilation.  Though there is no gore in the story, it is easily the darkest and most unnerving tale so far - and still, if not more-so, relevant today.  For me, this is the one to read.

First Born

7 out of 10

The Little Shop Of Horrors meets One Born Every Minute - this is a slightly humorous dark tale of a bored, newly-retired, successful businessman with a hobby and a dream.  Unfortunately for his surviving relatives, he needs their help to reach the next step in his experiments.

The Black Drama

8 out of 10

This is a short novella that is based on Lord Byron's lost vampyric tale Ruthven.  What Wellman gives the reader is a very clever story based on Urban Legend and blood-sucking mythos.  The twist isn't exactly a surprise as I'd figured it out quite early in the tale, though the writing is splendid and Wellman can really create a believable and creepy world and atmosphere.

Crystal

6 out of 10

I am a great fan of Grant's though I have to say that even though this has a great idea it isn't one of Grant's better-written works... and loses a lot as it's missing his eerie atmosphere which is usually present in his works.

Buckets

9 out of 10

This IS my favourite tale in the compilation.  It's the still controversial subject matter which I loved the most.  That and I really do love a great Halloween story - and this is great.  Though if you're not into graphic detail then this may not be for you.

The Satyr's Head

7 out of 10

This is a strange and weird sexual horror story based on mythology.  Though it's well written and structured it does seem to be lacking in some elements.  I think the story would have been stronger had Riley added a little more sensuality to the storyline.  However, it is still an enjoyable read as it stands.  Riley was looking at turning this tale into a novel - I will try and find the book and see how the story has been expanded.

Junk

8 out of 10

Ever since I came across Ghost Train, The Wyrm, and Spectre in a secondhand bookshop while on holiday on the Isle of Wight I have been a fan and avid reader of Laws.  I would highly recommend horror fans to check him out if you haven't done so already.  In this short we are introduced to a stranger, who may be more than he first appears, that has an interest in used car parts...  The only trouble for the owner of the junkyard is that the parts have some dark "conditions" attached to them.  This could be a nice little opener for a bigger and nastier tale.

Pig's Dinner

6 out of 10

Claiming to be the most gruesome story in the collection I have to say it falls short of that title, as both Yougoslaves and Buckets left me more grossed-out and chilled.  Though the gore is there it's missing atmosphere... to be honest, it would have been difficult to add a creepiness.  I do like the dark humour that Masterton infuses into his writing, though I would have liked a little more of everything as the story is pretty much over before it's begun.  This could be because it's one of the shortest tales in the collection.

Movie Review - Knucklebones

Knucklebones

2016

The Cast

I am unsure as to what this movie is trying to be as it takes in a few of the horror subgenres, including Nazi Splatterpunk, Supernatural Slasher, and Laugh While You Kill... the trouble is it just feels too sycophantic and pompous.

The idea of Knucklebones is a great idea; I've always been a sucker for Daemons.  Like all Daemons he has to be summoned into our world this is done in the form of an ancient Sumerian Incantation - this was one of my biggest irks of the whole film since it appears that everybody can read and write Sumerian (I know it's one of my favourite dead languages!) - and the casting of severed and fleshless metacarpals into a pentagram.  Though, the best bit of the summoning is Knucklebones's arrival as he literally rips his way into the world through one of the summoners.  Plenty of bones tearing through flesh.

However, it's the rest of the story which kills the film, as well as the "Thirty-Something" teens and their mediocre acting skills.  At the start of the movie we have a group of Nazis conducting an experiment on a topless blonde, this is just to show the audience the evil Germans connection to the Daemon.  Then we move to the USA in the '70's where something or somebody is killing the nightshift at a clothing manufacturer.  Finally, we end up in present day and though we've been shown the connection the audience is then told of the connection in a little more detail making the two opening sequences redundant and pointless.  I do hate a waste of time when it could have been used to better assist the story or help to create better killings.

Then there's Knucklebones himself who appears to be Freddy Krueger minus skin - the gruff voice and dark humour one-liners are very reminiscent of good ol' Fred and that is a shame; with a little more work he could have had his own character.  At least his look is pretty good.  I did like the skull with tattered flesh hanging loose, though at the time you could tell it was a rubber mask.  This could have been handled better with a different camera angle and moodier lighting.  One thing in the film's favour is the lighting as the director doesn't rely on darkness to try and scare you.  He makes sure you can see everything - this I appreciate greatly, I am not a fan of too-dark-to-see movies.

Apart from a couple of times with the bad guys mask the special effects are okay.  Though you've probably seen similar done better they are pretty good for a low budget flick.

This is not a brilliant film and it teeters on being poor to average but I would recommend it for horror lovers as there are a few good ideas and scenes in the film.  However, if you're thinking of getting into the genre then do yourself a favour and watch the original Nightmare On Elm Street films (but only up to part five) - then when you've caught up with all the good stuff out there, then give this a go - just to satisfy your dark cravings.

I give this a weak and below average 3.75 out of 10.

The Trailer

Movie Review - The Haunting Of Briar House

The Haunting Of Briar House

AKA:  The Unspoken

2015

The Cast

There's something wrong with the house in the woods down on Briar Lane.  Years after a family disappears from the house in the '70's the boards are being pried off the windows and the doors are being unlocked as a new tenant is moving in.  A young mother, Jeanie (Hutton), and her mute son have escaped the city and their traumas there.  After his father passed away Adrian stopped speaking and hopefully, the change of pace and scenery will help him out of this fugue.  With them comes a nurse and housekeeper, Portia (Rukiya Bernard), and from the town, they hire Angela (Ferland), a part-time confidant for Adrian.  However, no sooner than they've opened the doors to the house that strange things begin to happen.

I really do like this new and refreshingly well thought out take on the Haunted House subgenre of horror.  The story is well structured and full of interesting characters.  However, it would have been nice to have a few more scenes between Father and Daughter in respect to Angela's character as this would not only have strengthened and filled her out more but would have added a better depth to the story.  It also would have added more power to climax when Angela's dad (Munro) comes to save her.

The director does a wonderful job of creating the scene of a town/village which has seen better days.  This is great as it adds to the believability and reality of the story.  People have problems and they are doing their best to survive... everything isn't rosy.  I also have to give credit for the opening sequence which throws the audience straight into the action and sets the scene, pace, and atmosphere for the rest of the movie.

With all the horror films out and about that stomp over well-worn scenarios, it's refreshing to have a twist. It's also nice to have a decent director filming - all too often the direction itself is one of the major things to harm a film (contrary to belief not everyone can make a good horror film).

As for the acting, it's well above par and the portrayals only add to the power of the film.  One of the best is Adrian (Suljic), though he doesn't say a word, he definitely has a presence throughout the whole film.

I would recommend this to all lovers of the horror genre and to those wishing to try something out of the field.  It's not the best but it's a great deal better than most in the genre and well worth a viewing... or two...

I give this fear flick a head-scratching and nerve-jangling 7.25 out of 10.

The Trailer

Movie Review - The Night Of Something Strange

The Night Of Something Strange

2016

Production Companies:  Hurricane Bridge Entertainment, Duke Studios, SRS Cinema, Virtual IntaActive Inc., White Lightning Productions

After all the Zombie films that are stagnating the genre it was a breath of fre... er... fetid and decaying air to watch this movie.  Zombies are now starting to move out of the horror genre and starting to appear in drama's like The Walking Dead - that's right I called it a drama, which it mainly is as it deals with everyday issues and the Zombies are just a secondary encumbrance for the survivors.   They have also appeared in sci-fi where once again they have been relegated from the scary to the infected.  So when this film placed the Zombie back on the major scary list I was over the moon.

I also have to give the writers Ron Bonk, Mean Gene, and Jonathan Straiton (who also directed) a big thank you for kicking the story in the political correct bollocks as this film makes even the darkest matters humorous.  These Zombies are driven by sex and not a hunger for eating flesh and brains.

All hell begins to break out when a caretaker at a morgue takes an interest in one of the females on the slab.  After a little necrophilic love, he goes to finish off his work for the night.  If he had paid attention to the medical chart he would've seen she had died from an unknown sexually transmitted disease.  From then on, anyone he bumps uglies with becomes infected and gets the sexual craving.  One of my favourite scenes is when one of the young men returns to his motel room and finds his girlfriend passed out on the bed.  The trouble is that it isn't his girlfriend but one of his male buddies.  The hilarity reaches fever pitch after the copulation has ended and a sheriff is banging on their door.  Unable to disengage himself he has to drag his friend across the bed.  I was laughing so hard I nearly wet myself.  The dark humour in this movie is superb.

One of the things making this an above average horror is the direction as Straiton creates a nice rollercoaster ride of pace and has a brilliant ability to give the comedic moments the correct timing to add wallop to the punchline; there are also some nice camera shots and differing camera angle which make it a visually interesting movie.  The other plus is the quality of the acting, which I was happy to observe was above average.  There are some scenes that are a little hammed up, though I believe this was intentional as it fits perfectly with the feel of the film.  Another plus is the special effects, which are more than possible.  The Syphilis that start to eat away at the zombies is pretty yucky to look at and is a great idea.

So if you aren't too worried about sexual and graphic content and love non-politically correct comedy with a lot of dark humour then this film is for you.  It's also nice to see the Zombies back in the horror seat.  This is now one of my favourite horror and comedy films, though I can understand why you will either love it or hate it.

Movie Review - The Possession Of Michael King

The Possession Of Michael King

2014

Production Companies:  Gold Circle Films & Quickfire Films.

This film surprised me... and in a good way...  I liked it!

I was interested in the concept of the story and this brought me to view the film.  A family man loses his wife and is understandably absorbed by the deep loss he feels.  He believes that her death could have been negated:  They had previously been to a fortune teller-come-medium who had informed them to stay at home when they should have been on vacation.  Had they ignored her advice his wife would still be alive.  This sets off a train of thought in his brain and he decides to prove that the occult and paranormal are not real.  Being a documentary film maker he resolves to get the evidence on film.

You know that he's going to be proved wrong and in a very dark and nasty way.  Though, this is the case you don't know exactly what is coming.  King then heads off to different people and groups who purport to be able to conjure dark entities and demons.

What I liked most about this film was the standard of acting which is of a high standard.  Shane Johnson does well to hold the story and the film together as the lead.  His portrayal of King and the many emotions he goes through is believable.  There are also a couple of actors you may have seen before - Dale Dickey who plays the Fortune Teller and Cullen Douglas who is the mortician, he gives the character a suitably creepy feel.

I also loved the fact that on his visit to the Satanists they tell him what to expect from the demon he has chosen through psychography... and then we see this manifestation appear and grow slowly... then when they are later confronted we learn they never believed in it, it was just a way to get laid - a bit of kinkiness.  This was just a little thing but it added a depth and a moral.

The drawback is that the film is done similar to found footage films so there is a lot of shaky camera work.  Though there are some nice camera angles which add to the atmosphere of the film.  There's also an overuse of grey filters.  I know this is to create a bleak atmosphere but it would have been nice if this could have been done differently.  Coloured filters are tired and old - they need to be retired or at least take a rest.  God gave you an imagination and artistic licence, come on and use it.

There are some scenes that run on too long when the action should be starting to pick up and a couple which appear superfluous to the film.  These just niggled me as they felt like time fillers - we could have had character and story development instead.

The special effects are superb and the pentagram carving is disturbing.  I don't squirm much - I would have normally said, at all - but this had me agonizing with him; so a big thumbs up for that.

This isn't the best possession film out there but it is worth a viewing and I would recommend all fans of horror and possession flicks to give it a watch.  I may even give this another viewing sometime.

Movie Review - Blood From The Mummy's Tomb

Blood From The Mummy's Tomb

1971

Production Companies:  Hammer Films & EMI Films

The first thing I noticed when watching this movie is the gaping distance between this and the horror movies of today.  There are two glaringly obvious differences.

Firstly:  Scope.  This film takes you to Egypt and the tombs of the Pharaohs where we see the Queen being interred in her tomb and the rights the priest's carry out, along with the beginnings of her curse.  We then move to England where the action continues between three different locations.  In modern horror films, the story usually takes place in one location in one time period.

Secondly:  Story.  There's more going off in this film than most of today's horror.  I know this is based on an actual novel where most of the modern films are based on the director's ideas.  The end product can also suffer from budgetary issues which may restrict them to one location and hence hinder the story.

The other differences are acting talent and direction.  I have to admit that Hammer used to get some pretty top notch actors in their films.  Even the bit-parts are covered by a better-than-average cast and this is the case in this film.  Due to that fact, this is a highly enjoyable and believable story that I found myself fully immersed in.  It also didn't hurt that Valerie Leon is one of the most beautiful actresses on the planet and does a great job in the lead role as Margaret Fuchs and the Egyptian Queen Tera.  Along with Andre Keir, who people from Dr Who: Dalek's Invasion Earth 2150AD and Quatermass and the Pit, and James Villiers this is a strong cast.

As for the directing, it was an absolute blessing not to see shaky cam.  I do wish that more directors would invest in fixed and smooth-moving camera mounts.  I remember there being some negative input for the Evil-Deads shaky cam through the woods - now that is some of the smoothest camera work when compared to today's efforts.  Also, all the scenes are watchable in daylight.  Dark scenes are lit and visible, with the director using lighting to build mood and atmosphere; the viewer doesn't have to turn off any lighting even ambient just to make out what's happening - just because a scene is shot in total darkness doesn't make it scary.  There's also no grey filters, which are so overused today, everything is shot in glorious colour.  This actually helps the film as it doesn't make the audience depressed and sad.

Though the special effects are outdated by today's standards they are few, as the director uses the story and the atmosphere to build up the tension, suspense, and horror.  Though the effects that are used are passable.  I did love the severed hand - you can't beat a good severed hand - and the constantly bleeding stub its decapitation left behind.

This is one truly lush and lavish, well shot and acted horror film which still has strength in today's horror market.  I would recommend everybody to watch this film as it's one of the best Hammer released.  I would even watch this one again... and probably sooner rather than later.

Movie Review - Asylum

Asylum

1972

Production Companies:  Amicus Productions & Harbour Productions Limited.

The first thing which should draw you to this little horror flick is its writer... Robert Bloch, the man who penned Psycho - that in itself should have you excited.  I had totally forgotten he'd written this anthology, so it brought a massive smile to my face when I saw it in the credits.  Another plus for this movie is the great cast.  I didn't know of any of the director's other work, but after watching this film I would be very happy to watch anything else he may have directed.

Bloch's stories are strong and teeter on the edge of sanity and the paranormal.  Both he and Baker do an excellent job of using the fifth story to tie all the others together.  Dr Martin arrives at Dunsmoor Asylum to start work only to find Dr Rutherford is standing in for Dr Starr, who appears to have suffered a mental breakdown.  Dr Starr has been moved upstairs to be confined with patients of a similar malady.  So Rutherford sets out to test Martin by challenging him to talk to the patients on the ward and to diagnose which one is Dr Starr.  Once on the ward, we are introduced to the inmates and their delusions.

The first tells of a married man who's having an affair.  However, when his wife informs him that she'll never let him go he has to take extreme measures... though she has some ideas of her own on the matter.  Tale two tells of a struggling tailor about to lose his business.  Needing a quick influx of cash he takes on the job of creating a suit for a stranger, out of some strange material...  Story three is of a sister returning to her family home after a stay in a hospital.  Upon her return, her best friend starts to weave doubts into her mind over what her brother and the nurse are really after.  Can she be telling the truth or does she have an ulterior motive?  Story four is about Dr Byron and his creations.  At the moment they are just effigies of his former colleges, though he has a plan to bring them to life...

Each story is acted superbly by its cast (I found nothing bad about any of the performers or their portrayals) and are beautifully filmed.  There are some wonderful camera shots, not too outlandish but very subtle that you don't notice them.  For example, when Martin enters the Asylum he is met by a nurse.  The camera follows behind her slowly.  Once they are acquainted they turn down a hallway and the camera pans with them.  As they stand outside Rutherford's door they are just silhouettes.  The camera work is so steady and smooth.  In today's film, it'd be jerky - to give it a "realistic" feel - and they would more than likely stay with them or have quick cuts from hallway to outside the door.  I know which I prefer.  Baker does a good job of using not only the camera work but lighting and sound to create atmosphere.  In the first story, where there's a little action, he creates a creepiness though with an exciting sting to it.  For the second story, Baker ups the eerieness element to unnerve the audience.

The only reason it didn't get full marks is that I am marking by today's standards, which means that some of the special effects let it down a little.  I've never been one for the "Stuffed attacking beast" or "decapitated body part" attacking scenes - I've always known it's nothing more than the actor holding a prop.  As a viewer I want to lose myself in the story, incidents like these just bring me out of that story a little... usually with a giggle.  This hurts the film and the enjoyment of it because you're meant to be scared - not amused.  That said, some of the other effects are top notch.  Loved the dolls internal organs and the mirror scene was pretty much perfect.

I would recommend this film to every horror fan out there as this is how it should be done.  Though it isn't perfect I would still watch this over a lot of the "so-called" horror of today.  Well worth a watch and well worth keeping.

Movie Review -.The Being

The Being

1983

Bill Osco Productions

Best Film & Video Corp / New World Pictures / Thorn EMI Video

5.25 / 10

This isn't a magnificent movie, though it isn't a bad one either.  This is pretty much as average as they come.  A year before Toxi the Toxic Avenger graced out screens there was The Being.

This is a story about a boy who falls foul to a greedy Mayor who sells his soul to a corporation so they can dump pollution in his township.  Once the boy is mutated, his damaged brain send him on a killing spree.  As always, with the plethora of horror films, this could have been better, especially the story which is only there to create The Being.

What this film has in its favour is it's cast, though not the cream of the crop there are some very good masters of their craft involved.  Both Martin Landau and Jose Ferrer in their respective roles of Dr Garson Jones and Mayor Gordon Lane, who is nice and sleazy.  In fact, most of the cast give good performances with the material they have, even Roxanne Cybelle Osco, who is the little girl in the Easter Egg Hunt scene (one of my favourites in the film).  The only person who seems miscast is Bill Osco as Detective Mortimer Lutz, his style is that of a Chippendale chair...  Oh, and there's even a naked Traci Lord painting her toenails before being attacked by a rubber monster (sorry I couldn't resist - though it is true).

So why didn't this get a higher rating?  For me, it's the directing.  Though Jackie Kong's story isn't too bad for an '80's horror film his directing skills aren't up to the same standard.  That said there are some good scenes.  As I stated I liked the Easter Egg Hunt; I liked the opening sequence where you hear a radio broadcast informing the town that the storm has passed, this creates a nice atmosphere... which is then spoiled by a narration.  The narration isn't required as everything is explained throughout the movie.  I don't know if this was requested to be added later, it feels that way, or if it was the original plan, but what I do know is that it kills the atmosphere and spoils the feel of the film.  This may even get a few people turning off.  Kong is also good at filming in the dark as he opts to make everything visible (there's nothing worse than when a scene is so dark you cannot see what's happening).  He can even build up the tension as the scene in the dinner shows, nice and creepy.  If he could have kept this up for the entirety of the film it would have been so much better.

Then there are the effects.  The ripping out of a heart is well done as is the oozing pollution which comes through the car's vents and radio.  However, the monster itself is laughable and it's a good thing that you don't see it fully until the finale.  It resembles a box of goo on a skateboard and the one eye it has doesn't look at all realistic; I was waiting for the glue to go off and the table tennis ball to fall off.

If you like, leave your brain at the door '80's horror and you've not seen this one yet then give it a gander as it's at least worth one viewing.  It should be said that it would be better viewed in the dark with a nice cold drink... or two... or three... while the rain outside is spattering your window.

Video Nasty - Devil Hunter

Devil Hunter

1980

Eurocine / J E Films (Julian Esteban Films) / Lisa Film

CineHollywood / Manhattan Video / Wizard Video / Severin Films

3.25 / 10

This has to be one of the most boring and laborious films I've ever seen.  However, with the premise of the story, this film should have been a kickass action horror film.  A model is kidnapped while on a shoot by a gang of criminals who intend to ransom her off.  They, unfortunately, didn't count on the cannibals and their demon God.  In comes Peter Western a type of bounty hunter hired to rescue the model.

The possibilities for this story are huge and as such, I believe this would make a good remake.  Having said that, the original misses on all the exciting possibilities and just relies on the story concept.  This mistake and the ensuing horrendous film lies squarely on the shoulders of the writer and director Jesus Franco and writer Julian Esteban.  Everything is so lacklustre and lackadaisically constructed even the special effects - the demon God is just a tall man with the worst "bug-out" eyes ever, he's more comical than ominous.

The bad thing is that the acting isn't too bad, it's the slow pace and the below standard direction which makes them come off badly.

Except for the story, there's not much that saves this film.  Because of this, I would only recommend to Die Hard cannibal fans, though I would like to stress, make sure you're wide away and you have a large cup of coffee close by as you may need the caffeine buzz to get through this boring snoozefest.

Nergling - The Video Nasties Scare - Devil Hunter

Free KIndle Horror Novella

The Suicide Plan

By Emma Clapperton

A chilling new suspense novella.

Standing up and welcoming everyone to the spiritualist church is something Patrick McLaughlin does most evenings. Most of the faces in the audience are familiar to him, except one. David Hopkirk walks into the West End Spiritualist church in Glasgow and slits his own throat in the middle of a demonstration. But why?

Patrick is then catapulted into a case, which sees the death of a child, a failed court case and a family torn apart.

Soon Patrick will have all the pieces of the puzzle but will he be able to fit them together in time?

The next instalment of this chilling new series is now available:  Beyond Evidence

Click here to collect novel

Video Nasty - Andy Warhol's Flesh For Frankenstein

Andy Warhol's

Flesh For Frankenstein

1973

Compagnia Cinematografica Champion / Braunsberg Productions / Carlo Ponti Cinematografica / Rassam Productions / Yanne Et Rassam

Bryanston Distributing / EMI Distribution / Image Entertainment / Tartan Video Limited

6.25 / 10

Oh, my God!  This movie is magnificent in its badness.  A true masterpiece of awfulness.  This is the epitome and the complete definition of a bad movie.  This is the type of movie you can enjoy even though it's far from perfect.

For example, there's a scene where Udo Kier, Baron Frankenstein, is telling his servant Otto, played by starey-eyed Arno Juerging (does he even blink(?)) about his days as an assistant, "I had to clean out all the toilets before I could stick my nose into the laboratory!"  Except, due to Kier's accent, "laboratory" sounds live "lavatory".  Brilliant.

Another positive is that this is a cross between the old lavish Hammer Horror movies and the visceral Italian gorefest and it works really well.  There is not one scene where you cannot see everything, though there are times you wish you weren't seeing it.  Especially when the Baron likes playing with the female Zombies innards too much and poor Otto has to keep wiping his brow.  Even though you think this is wrong it only gets worse.

Even when you think the only one who is remotely sane is the Baron's wife, brilliantly portrayed by Monique Van Vooren, even she tips her toes into the darker side of sexual kinkiness.  I can fully understand why this one got the BANNED stamp, though they are done so gloriously you see it as funny or erotic.

The story is a pretty decent one though.  The Baron is looking to reincarnate humans into Zombies and with the sole purpose of procreating and building a super-race of Serbians.  Through his strict guidelines, he procures his body parts for looks and sexual prowess.  These Zombies will give him the perfect children he always wanted and he will have control over them all.  This allows the writer to create some good individual characters, though writing, acting, and direction aren't perfect because each personality is different it helps to keep the viewer watching the screen.  I especially loved the male Zombies attitude and logic at the end of the story.

The special effects are up to the usual Italian standards.  Even though the decapitation isn't too realistic, you have to give the FX crew big respect because the eyes blink and move, which they will do because a head can remain conscious for a minute after being removed.  There are lots of guts and oodles of bright red blood (much too bright to be real).

All of this mixed in with some nudity and you have a marvellous exploitation movie.

This is a MUST WATCH for all who love bad b-movie horror flicks.  I cannot believe it's taken me so long to find this one, though now I have I will be watching it again and again with a smile on my face and a chortle in my throat.  Good on ya' Mister Warhol...

Nergling - The Video Nasties Scare - Andy Warhol's Flesh For Frankenstein

Movie Review - Paranormal Island

Paranormal Island

2014

Caretaker Production Companies / Full Throttle Pictures

Cinidigm / VMI Worldwide

4.75 / 10

This wasn't going to be anything more than your everyday garden-variety horror film, especially after you read the blurb.  Three college students take jobs at the club on the man-made island to earn a little cash, however, Mike has heard the rumours of strange ghostly happenings on the Island and sees a chance to get some extra credit for his forensics course.  This is the first of many holes in the story - Mike is doing a forensics course with an inclination for disproving the paranormal...  Since when, and in what world, has the plea of the "The Ghost Killed Them!!!" or "The Devil Possessed Me!!!" ever been a truthful, credible, and winning defence.  Then later in the film, he claims this job is a "Normal Job" - Yeah Right!

These bad lines actually go to show how good the acting abilities of the cast are as the leads are quite believable in their portrayals... and they never appear to be on the verge of laughing their heads off with some of their lines.  I was actually hoping the film would be better than it was since Briana Evigan, who play's Ivy, was staring.  Unfortunately, not so much if you're a bloke, I think she may have been chosen for the part because she looks great in a skimpy bikini.  However, her acting skills, along with Randy Wayne as Mike, Lance Henriksen as Carl, and Sarah Karges as Lori, help to keep this from being too bad.

There is just as much good as there is bad in the film.  I liked the fact that even though you've seen similar movies they chose not to give you your stereotypical teenagers.  These guys don't stay behind on purpose they are accidentally left behind after closing - too many films would have had them hiding away waiting for everyone to leave.  Then writer and director Marty Murrey does the obvious and gives you the ghost of Ivy's baby sister, who was drowned on the lake with their parents, and she helps them try to escape - you know this is coming as soon as the accident is mentioned.

Then there's the abysmal acting of Ben Elliott, playing Jerry, who is so wooden his second job is as a sideboard.  Worst still is Tony Valle as the DJ, Andy; this guy needed some serious direction for his character as he seems to be all over the place.

Though, by far, the worst thing about the film is the caretaker's ghostly apparition.  The special effects are pitiful.  I can't believe that in this day and age they couldn't have found someone to do a better job on the tight budget.  Most six-year-olds are quite decent with CGI, maybe one of the crew's kids could've come up with something.  Also, why did they bother at all since the spectral image of Ivy's sister was just a normal little girl in grey?  Also, the opening scene that takes place in the past is badly shot using sepia and a heavy vignette focus; all that was missing was the cinema lines and noise effects.

If you're new to horror films and are wanting to break yourself in easy then you could give this a shot.  If you're a fan of horror then you're going to watch this even if I warn you against it because Lance Henriksen stars.  Just be aware that it does slow down to a near stop around the midpoint, but it does pick up again, though it never quite reaches nerve tingling excitement.

Movie Review - Boogeyman

Boogeyman

2005

Screen Gems / Ghost House Pictures / Senator International / Pacific Renaissance Pictures Ltd, : Screen Gems / United International Pictures

6.75 / 10

I've heard this film is the remake of the 1980's video nasty,, though it has a different, and better, storyline to boot.  So if you've let that put you off watching this film stop right now.

Here you have the story of Tim, (a hit and miss performance by Barry Watson) who suffers mental stress due to strange events in his childhood, where he believes the demon in the closet took his father.  When his mother passes he has to sell the family home, which his uncle is kindly refurbishing.

On the whole, this is an okay movie, though at the time of release I hated it.  My newfound acceptance could be due to the lack of good horror on offer today; or worst yet, I've grown accustomed to the bad elements of this style of horror film which today's directors use in overabundance - such as the swooping camera's and crescendo sounds to startle not scare.

The thing I loved most was the demon, though the director, Stephen Kay, should have left the CGI alone; it was mainly the essence of the demon I loved, thank you Eric Kripke who wrote the story and screenplay.  Being able to travel anywhere and to any time through the wardrobe gives the viewer the feeling of distortion and unease; this ability also gives the demon great power.  The thought of him also being able to take any shape, for Tim, it was the zombie model he used to have by his bedside, is chilling - what would he look like for you?

Though most of the camera work is used to create action I did like the creepy segment where Tim meets his old friend and neighbour Kate (played by Bones, oh sorry, Emily Deschanel).  This is a brilliantly filmed piece and flows so smoothly, in the age of shakey-cam I loved it.

Also, the appearance of Franny, played really well by Skye McCole Bartusaik, was a great hook in the story... a secondary person who had seen the Boogeyman.

There's quite a bit of story weaved into this hour and a half film, enough to keep you engaged, and if you like your horror to be at a break-neck pace then this should be right up your street.  This could have been so much better though.  There are times when Kay creates a spooky atmosphere, which is a great thing as the Boogeyman is about instilling fear into children.  This is the way the film should have progressed instead of going the action and assault route.

This is better than quite a few horror films around today so if it's on telly or cable then you could do worse than giving it a viewing.